A doctor from Greenfield has been struck off the Medical list by an enquiry team who heard how he had improperly demanded consultation fees from his amnesia patients - prior to them receiving therapy.

Doctor David Slaughter, who holds surgeries at his plush Lydgate clinic, is a specialist in the treatment of amnesiac disorders. These cause loss or impairment of the memory – sometimes completely.

He was reported to the Medical Convention in March of last year by one of his patients, Norma Snose, after she was charged £17,000 for


Slaughter's plush clinic in Lydgate

treatment, which she claims, she should have received at Slaughter’s clinic, but didn't.

DEFENCE
In his defence, Dr. Slaughter told the enquiry that he had had to claim his fees prior to the treatment “because of the very nature of his patient’s disorder”. Slaughter told the court that the complainent couldn't remember the sessions.

FINE
The enquiry found Slaughter guilty and struck him off the medical practitioners list before fining him £20. He has 14 days to appeal.


A plasterer from Greenacres is filing a claim for damages from Oldham Council after he broke both his legs and seriously injured his spine last week whilst shopping in Oldham.


Sales
Mr Jack Pott (left) - who always walks backwards - stumbled and fell down a pothole on Yorkshire Street whilst out loooking for Christmas gifts. As a result he is likely to be out of work for eighteen months, due to the accident.

Back to Front
The council though, whilst
accepting responsibility for the accident, claim that Pott had his cap on back-to-front at the time of the accident and that this suggests he was walking forwards. "If he was walking forwards, as the attire of his cap would suggest" said Ken Woodmixer for the council "then it would throw a completely different light on the situation".

Doctor
It is thought that Mr Pott - who would not comment to us - had been walking backwards for about seven years. A Doctor told us that it was quite common for people to walk backwards in order to see if they had dropped anything in their path.

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December Postbag!

DOUGH
I think unemployed people should bake their own bread, like we did during the war. It'll give them something to do..and at least they'll be making dough.
Terry Syndrome, Derker

MICE
I recently discovered that maggots make ideal 'sausages' for my pet mouse. I cooked them under a cigarette lighter flame in a milk bottle top - like a mouse-size mini frying pan.
T.H. Chadderton Fold

DRUGS
I recently read a report in the Chron that said our Customs and Excise people were having a lot of success preventing drugs getting into the country, but that for every amount they'd discovered, ten times that amount was still getting into the country. This being the case then, why don't they stop discovering it! If nothing's discovered, then surely ten times nothing is nothing. Therefore, nothing will enter the country.
Steve R, St Mary's

BUSES
There’s a lot of talk about people using public transport to cut down on pollution and all that shit. Well, I’m a car user and proud of it. The reason why I won’t use public transport is nowt to do with late buses or discomfort. I don’t use public transport because the people who do use it stink and I don’t want to stink like they do!
Aftab Malik, Werneth

THE SUN
I'd like to know why the sun only comes out during the day time. Surely, if it were to come out during the night it'd be better for everyone as we'd all save on lighting and heating bills.
P.D. Failsworth

THE SUN
I read with interest your correspondent's 'P.D. Failsworth' (above) letter concerning the sun coming out at night. I'm a Professor of Solar Physics at the University of Limeside and would like to inform your correspondent that the reason why the sun doesn't come out at night is because it might crash into the moon..and then we'd be left with nothing..day or night. It's sensible for the two to share our 24 hour day, I think!
Prof. Phil Blighter, University of Limeside