Oldham's tombs and graves have been condemned as being unhygienic and unsafe by a Committee at the Civic Centre in Oldham. |
The reproach comes after a report, by the Grave and Tombs Standards Committee, was presented to the authorities yesterday. It claimed that graves in Oldham were "a disgrace to the dignity of those occupying them".
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A graveyard in Oldham
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One spokesman said "I'm
surprised the occupants of these substandard graves and tombs are still alive".
Their investigations also revealed that many coffins did not have an adequate supply of clean drinking water and were dank and dismal - with no luxuries such as a TV and video.
"Some coffins were also in need of serious repair and the occupants had no equipment to restore them". Even if they did, the report continued, there weren't electrical supplies to most graves, which would allow for lighting to be installed, in order that the dead could work in safety". |
Local builders labourer, Ted Murphy, says he's going to give Oldham's tourist trade a massive boost next year and at the same time save Oldhamers the expense of travelling to the seaside - if he can buy Blackpool Tower and erect it on Tandle Hill Park. |
MILDRED
Ted, 47-year-old, and of no fixed address, was in Blackpool last week with his sister Mildred, to look at the Victo
rian built iron structure before deciding to buy it. He also discussed with Mildred the logistsics of moving the great tower to Tandle Hill Park. Commenting to Oldham Live exclusively Ted said "I want to bring some life to dreary Royton and I think Blackopool Tower will do the job and attract tourists".
RAF
One of the main problems Ted will have to face is how to detach the |
Could Royton look like this next year? |
tower from the building it is attached too - which houses the 'Sea-Life Centre' and the 'Ballroom'. One suggestion he's considering is the use of forty RAF helicopters to lift the tower from its base after the bolts have been undone, but the RAF have reportedly refused his suggestion, stating to us that they thought Murphy was "a madman and should be sectioned". When we asked further questions they told us, in no uncertain terms, to "piss off" |
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SAVINGS
Meanwhile, Ted (pictured left) is currently working all hours to save the money to buy the tower and his sister has taken up a cleaning job in a cafe on Yorkshire Street to help save up.
COUNCIL PLANNING PERMISSION
The local Oldham Council Planning Deprtment said they knew nothing about Ted's plans. "He's off his rocker" said a spokeperson "he needs treatment". They then told us to "piss off" |
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MAY
LETTERS
Pencils?
May 1st 2008
I can't understand why pencils are still used in Oldham schools when pens are much easier to use and don't need sharpening. Foolish people who still use pencils are living in the past, surely. They shoud be made outcasts in our modern 'pen' society.
Bill, Uppermill, Oldham
Pencils again May 5th 2008
I recently had a nasty experience with pencils on my way to college in Oldham and its made me think twice about using such dangerous implements again. I aways carry two pencils in my pocket and one day I was late for the bus so I raced up Ashton Road. After about 200yds I could smell something burning and to my amazement my pants were on fire! The rubbing of the pencils together had ignited them in much the same way as prehistoric folk used to make fires.
Andy Longstamp, Oldham
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